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Tethered

Thu, 4 Dec 2014 11:00:00 PM

If you've ever been to a hospital, you've seen the metal poles with the IV lines, attached to the patient through what's called a "port" - a kind of catheter inserted into a vein. It's more convenient for all concerned - doctor, nurse, patient - than using a needle to inject the medicine or nutrition. For one thing, the patient isn't poked each time something needs to be infused.

The metal poles go where the patient goes. if the patient is up walking, someone - patient or caregiver - has to make sure the pole, with medicine bag and attached IV lines, go along. Same thing if the patient goes to the bathroom. As long as the patient is being infused (the medical term), he or she is tethered to pole, unmistakably through the plastic tubing.

While it is safer and more convenient, being tethered can also be a nuisance. (For home health care, often backpack like bags are used instead of a pole.) Being un-tethered, when there's no infusion for the moment, gives one a sense of freedom. You don't have to worry about kinking the plastic tubes or getting too far ahead of the pole, etc.

This contrast between being 'tethered' and 'free' (though the port/catheter is still there) got me thinking about the whole concept of being tethered, and the invisible tubes that connect us with others. These 'tubes' or connections may not be visible to the eye, but they exist - emotionally, intellectually, spiritually.

So what are we tethered to - connected to by lines of force, so to speak? Our family and friends. Our faith and trust in G-d. These are of course positive connections, things to which we want to be tethered.

But, following our analogy, if we are tethered, we're not free, not independent. Perhaps 'free' is the wrong word, because we aren't ever free in the sense of being divested of responsibility or relationships. There's a word in Hebrew that better expresses the idea: hefker. It means unclaimed or unowned - disconnected.

We are, therefore, always tethered, always connected. We are not always tethered to things that uplift us, improve us. Sometimes we're tethered to routines - having a coffee break at the same time every day, following the same route to work, having the same sandwich everyMonday. Routines of daily living are important, of course. They help structure our days and serve as ways of maneuvering smoothly through society. But if we're tethered to the routine and not its function, what then? Instead of giving us a way to interact socially or helping with our personal maintenance (hygiene), the routines begin to control us.

Then there are the negative things we are tethered to. Anger is an obvious emotional tether. We can tether ourselves to other things that are harmful or non-beneficial. Our favorite sports team, for instance. We can invest so much energy and time into the team's success or failure that our own lives become affected. We can live through the team, the sports gear, all the externals and peripherals.

We can be tethered to bad ideas, politics that are knee-jerk, the label-and-shout of so much news. Asking critical questions helps us break free from bad ideas, but how often do we ask critical questions of those we want to agree with? The bad ideas need not be political - they can be academic, they can be social. ("It seemed like a good idea at the time.")

Even with the positive tethers, we have to examine the connections. When a tube delivering medicine gets a 'kink' in it, something beeps to tell the nurse the medicine is not being delivered properly. In our relationships with friends or families, we have to check the connections, the lines of force, to make sure everything is clear, that there's no blockage.

Especially in our relationship with G-d, we have to make sure we are tethered properly. In this regard, there's an interested Chassidic story about Rabbi Yisroel of Ruzhin. He had a routine whereby every morning, he would traverse mountainous terrain as part of his preparation for prayer. During the winter, the terrain was treacherous. Yet Rabbi Yisroel was never harmed. He attributed his safe passage back and forth to his connection to G-d.

A couple of skeptics came to town and mocked Rabbi Yisroel's faith. The path must not be that dangerous, they insisted, or there was a secret route. To prove their point, they set out the next morning through the snowy terrain. They came back some hours later, not having made it halfway, bruised and battered and lucky to have no broken bones.

When Rabbi Yisroel returned from his daily journey, they asked him for his 'secret.' Rabbi Yisroel of Ruzhin replied, "When one is connected to what is Above, one does not fall down below."

In one sense, then, we are defined by our connections - who and what we choose to be tethered to. Of course, we can't always choose. Some connections are beyond our control or choice, at least initially. But we can choose the nature of our tethering, the type of relationship we want to have.

Medically, doctors decide on what we'll be tethered to. They don't do this randomly. They've studied for years to know what medicinal connections are needed for what connection. In our relationships - with family and friends, with ideas, and above all with G-d, we need invest the time and critical thinking to make sure we are tethered properly.

The Trees Sing the Raindrops

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:23:00 PM

The Trees Sing the Raindrops

The trees sing the raindrops after the storm,
The leaves glisten green in a minor key
The branches sway a tempo, a deep bass note -
While the roots whisper forth in filaments.
The park is silent, save for puddles
Adjusting to the afterflow - ridges
And rivulets go underground, while pools
Debate the definition, the length of a lake.
The drains are clogged and gurgle without end,
The sweat of the earth rises in humid steam
The cautious grass unbends its leaves and stem.
Insects and fish first know the storm has passed,
Then birds and squirrels come searching for their homes.
People fled, panicked, when the storm began
Hours ago, and it will be hours yet before they return
With skates and bikes, and unleashed pets
Jogging in virtual marathons, stretching
And grunting on exercise bars, frisbee
Picnics between the debating pools.
The gray clouds still cover the sky; observing
The sun restrains itself- it's too near twilight.
Other days across the years, coming soon,
We'll walk again together In the park.

How old am I?

Thu, 13 Nov 2014 10:22:00 PM

How old am I?
Old as the ocean newborn in rivers
And springs, old as the dew, and the drop of rain
That tickles the nose or makes one blink
I'm old as the song that touches the heart
And old as the giggle of a peek-a-boo child
I'm old as the words that look at the stars
And old as the wonder in young lovers' eyes
I'm old as a hand that reaches to clutch
Another hand grasping the edge of a cliff
I'm old, so old, each moment I'm new
I'm the soul searching and residing in you

Diagnosis

Sun, 2 Nov 2014 3:55:00 PM

Friday Morning, before Yom Kippur

"We'll reset the clock," the doctor said,

Describing the surgery that will give me years.

"There's risk of course in a case as complex as yours,

Still, we'll do what we can and trust in G-d."

"Reset the clock" is Teshuvah defined,

The small turning of the soul, compass lost,

Homeward, as far as turning east to west,

For the first shift of legs or eyes resets

Direction - a step, a word, a thought may

Open channels through which flow correction.

So easy to return with home in the mind -

And yet the risk of evil, like a tumor,

Must be met with resolve and more, much more -

(We are metaphors for our souls, bodies

Paradoxes of the Divine concealed,

Yet revealed in a mitzvah, tzedekah,

A surgeon's skill, a teacher's guiding hand,

The still small voice in acts of kindness.)

Shrink, cut, shrink - or the radiation burn -

Sends the tumors of our sins ashrieking

Into oblivion. We are all doctors,

Yet cannot heal ourselves. Still while we have

Trust and faith and joy, the deep, immeasurable

Love of friends and family, then indeed,

Though the channels narrow, the pain's intense,

The doctor's hope, the doctor's prayer, become

So real the clock's reset. Then with blessings

We know the Exodus, and Redemption.